The Circus is in Town...!

Carny Ville – The Invisible Circus. October 2010.

After a summer of festivals Carny Ville is the perfect way to ease oneself back into the mediocrity that is real life. Carny Ville is incredible, astonishing and marvellous as well as a number of other synonyms of that variety, a festival’s worth of fun condensed into one night.

Run by The Invisible Circus, their aim is to regenerate semi derelict locations into a stage for the creative community. So far The Invisible Circus has colonized abandoned cathedrals, warehouses and run down garages and never one to disappoint this year’s extravaganza took place in Bristol’s Old Fire Station.

As a Carny Ville virgin I wasn’t sure what to expect but the Carny lot are definitely the ‘expect the unexpected’ type. The space was transformed into a post-apocalyptic freak show, a world of its own, equipped with Le Freakery, Haunted Village and Micro Arcade.

Outside Le Freakery a hideously grotesque group of corseted and bewigged 19^th century throwbacks, including a woman with three breasts, all cheering on a short, hump-backed man pole dancing against a lampshade.

And that is just the start, there is almost too much to look at, the crowd turned as some sort of unified entity from one spectacular to the next. Ghostly brides scale the sides of the building dropping confetti on the audience and extraordinarily bendy women do things with suspended hoops that to be quite frank, made me question my sexuality.

Inside the Haunted Village there were women dressed as school girls similar to something out of The Shining as well as a half man, half sea monster covered entirely in fresh seaweed (many a guy and gal gagging as they walked past). Chuck in a load of fire throwers, incredible cocktails and a performance from The Correspondents and you’ve got yourself a pretty perfect night, if that kind of things your bag. Notably, not the case for the two middle aged American tourists in their anoraks wondering round extremely befuddled, I don’t think Carny Ville was what they had imagined when they saw that the circus was in town.

The Correspondents performance as per usual was high energy with their revamped vintage tunes accompanied by dancing that can only be described as ever so slightly spasmodic, making full use of the mini tread mill and trampoline they had brought with them.

The attention to detail is evident and it is clear that all the performers involved love what they do, and the crowd love it too, some veteran Carny Villers’ are so well dressed you can’t tell if they are actors or revellers. There’s a plethora of velvet burgundy smoking jackets, feathers and questionable facial hair. One moustachioed old man asked me, slightly disturbingly, if I wanted to be his granddaughter until I realise that it’s all part of the show (I hope!)

After a stint cart-wheeling at a 45˚ angle 20 meters off the floor one performer tells me that incredibly none of the 300 strong actors, dancers or in fact anyone involved are paid for their amazing effort over the weekend. That’s dedication.

How Carnyville works is that the actors and performers come together before the event to decide the theme and narrative structure of the night. And if you’re so awestruck that you literally decide to run away and join the (invisible) circus then you don’t need to run very far. They have their own circus training space available from 5 ‘till ten on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursday evenings, and only £2 per hour.

Carnyville is definitely worth a visit, unfortunately this year is the last hurrah, (even though that was also the case last year too) apparently this is definitely the last one and the space is to be used as a youth project. But the invisible circus are always putting on shows around the country and it goes without saying that these guys are for sure something to be proud of!

New Bard On the Block...

“The Bard” Magazine.
Interview with Jack Dean (14th Bard of Bath)


BARD MAGAZINE: How would you describe yourself?

JACK DEAN: Bit of a dick really. But I have a sense of humour, and I work hard at the stuff I do. Also, I love lamp.

BM: When did you first become interested in performance poetry? Do you think that your childhood/adolescence has played a big part in you becoming a Bard?

JD: Basically, I got majorly into hip hop around age fifteen. I got vexed about the usual teenage stuff and wrote verses about it in the back of my homework diary. Then I’d go to school and my mates would bang on tabletops and beatbox while I spat them and freestyled and made gay jokes about the headmaster, etc. My whole project since coming to uni has been to persuade all these literary herbal-tea ski-holiday taste-the-difference types in the southwest that rap is a valid literary and lyrical force in our time, and in the absence of a major hip-hop scene, I use spoken word and poetry as a vehicle for that.

BM: How did you become involved in Bath’s poetry scene?

JD: A poet called Lucas Hadley headhunted me at a Creative Writing Social in Freshers Week, and recruited me for the staff vs. student poetry slam later that year. Then I met Anna Freeman, who I gave a demo of my stuff, which was all shouty and “fuck society” and strictly rhythmical, and she was like “slow it down, calm down, make it into a conversation between you and the audience, show them the positive as well as the negative”. Those thirty seconds were probably the best advice I’ve been given. So I followed these third and second year students to a lot of open mics and poetry slams and just copied the shit out of everyone I saw, most of the best of whom were actually not students, just random amateurs who’d come up with stuff and brought it along.


BM: What comes with the title of ‘The fourteenth Bard of Bath’? , How does it feel to become part of the ‘Bard family’?

JD: There’s a funky purple robe and a chair with a naked woman embroidered on the back. You can get quite a few gigs off it as well. The whole thing is overseen by a pretty small group of old people who visit and perform at each others events. The cliquey-ness is quite frustrating, but at least they’re sincere.

BM: Has there been any former Bard in particular who has helped you out/ influenced you?

Master Duncan, my predecessor the 13th Bard of Bath. He was the first one in the series to go after young people and just average ordinary folks in pubs and bars. He’s manically busy at open mics and other events, and his poems make you wee yourself laughing. He’s helped me out with perfecting my shows and is generally a good mate, since like me he is a bit of a dick as well.


BM: What do you intend to do with your title?

JD: Not sure yet. I’m hoping to put some kind of open air event together in summer. I’m gonna be in Hammer and Tongue’s Bath Slam final in either May or June, but more than anything I’m gonna try and travel around the UK and spread the love. All the celtic shamany stuff aside, I think people can really dig spoken word when it’s done right. I’ve seen it sell out theatres and make people cry. I met this one Irish guy outside a gig in Bristol who said I’d given him hope. If that’s not a reason to keep at it, nothing is.

BM: How do you feel about Bath/Bath Spa University? What do you plan on doing after you graduate?

JD: The Creative Writing course is a bit of a waste of time, I wouldn’t recommend it to people, at least not on its own. But the campus is beautiful, as are a lot of the ladies, so it’s a great place to just chill out and study. After graduating I’ll probably just get a job somewhere and use my free time to gig, write, make music and so on.

BM: What current affairs really interest you as a young poet?

JD: I write a lot about generational status. I feel like an enormous amount of people my age grow up with no ambition, no interests and no purpose, get worthless qualifications at uni, and drift around until they die. I don’t claim to be the messiah or the shining example, but I’m part of a slowly growing movement of young people who don’t go to shitty dance clubs and go to theatres, gigs, cabaret and so on, which equates to more time using your brain and taking things in, which can’t be bad for the bigger picture. Also, the dumbing down of mainstream music is astounding. Lady Gaga can suck her own massive cock.

BM: What influences you to be creative and make poetry?

JD: Jokes and anecdotes are always a good touchstone, as you can build and put your own perspective on them. I tend to just go out and live life, and the thoughts that generates are, I find, the best kind of poetry, especially if they’re still knocking around my head after a day or two.

BM: What tips would you give any young person interested in getting involved in performance poetry in Bath or elsewhere?

JD: Write, read and see good poets constantly. Put Def Poetry Jam and Slam Nation into Youtube and watch everything there. Don’t be afraid to go out and do a gig on your own, even if it’s not a poetry dominated one. Open with a funny poem. No-one cares what you think, but they might if you entertain them and win them over. Memorize your work. Put good gigs over social occasions, even ones that might get you laid. Print out your work in booklet form or record a CD and sell it/ give it away at gigs. Keep it real.

Quick questions…

What’s on your iPod at the moment?
J Dilla

What irritates you?
My broken laptop and its associated porn withdrawal symptoms.

Favourite place in Bath?
Alexandra Park

Favourite film?
Fight club

Do you have a catch phrase?
“That’s gangster.”
I know, so very white.

What’s your favourite biscuit?
Chocolate Bourbons ALL DAY.

Favourite poet?
At the moment, Polar Bear.

Any regrets?
Not learning another language.

Is the Christmas number one dead??

There have been some brilliant Christmas number ones in the past, hits from legends such as Queen, Human League and The Beatles but I think I’m safe to say (yet not proud to say) that the Noughties Christmas hits have been a paragon for what I can only describe as music designed to induce depression and/or mental instability. I reckon that the general public would be pushed to name more than two Christmas number ones from the Noughties that weren’t produced by the X factor, which has made the Christmas number one somewhat of a farce. So in order to refresh your memories let me take you on a retrospective tour through the dregs of what our society apparently deems suitable to represent us, musically, as a nation at this festive time of year. To start off the new millennium in style we have Men Behaving Badly actor Neil Morrissey as the voice of imaginatively titled Children’s favourite, Bob the Builder. Bob’s catchy number one hit ‘Can We Fix It’ begged the question ‘surely this is a fix’?? Bob and his chums Dizzy, Muck and Scoop managed to beat off runners up Ireland’s answer to Boys to men; Westlife for the top spot in the year 2000. From one annoying little man to another with 2001’s Christmas tune from Stoke-On-Trent’s most famous UFO obsessed fruit loop Robbie, bizarrely accompanied by Aussie actress Nicole Kidman. The duo attempted a cover of Frank Sinatra’s appropriately named Somethin’ Stupid, the result being cheesier than Miley Cirus wearing a Gouda onsie. 2002 brought about the first in a trend of number ones from the multitude of reality pop shows that have sullied our music industry since their inception. Admittedly Girls Aloud are the exception to the rule and ‘Sound of the Underground’ was in fact a great pop tune showcasing our nations sweetheart Chezza as a tracksuit wearing jordie chav (says it all really.) 2003 brought us number one Gary Jules’ cover of Tear’s For Fears’ Mad World only to be knocked off the top spot after three weeks by pop idol’s biggest winner (literally not metaphorically), you guessed it; Michelle McManus. 2004 dredged up bad memories of a wizened, smelly looking Bob Geldoff and Saint Bono with Band Aid 20. ‘Do They Know its Christmas?’ featured pop ‘legends’ such as Dido, Joss stone, the Beddingfield siblings as well as, can you believe it, yes; Busted!!! Wowzers! However what can’t be faulted was that the money raised went to staving children in Darfur, so at least someone was happy with the collaboration. I must have been abroad for the entirety of the winter season of 2005 as I have never herd of the track that reached Christmas number one, never the less it was Shane Ward with ‘That’s My Goal’ sounds like a winner! Surprisingly enough after a little research I found out that this Shane Ward is, shockingly, in fact an x-factorite. The last four years the Christmas top spots have been commandeered by X-Factor production line stars such as Leona, Leon and Alexandra proving that Simon (my trousers are so high up my arse I can use the zipper as a peep hole) Cowel has complete control over the charts. Simon makes gosh darn sure that his soulless manufactured pop protégés are safely at number one and that his pockets are sufficiently lined in time for the New Year. In an attempt to not veer off on an anti X Factor tangent I at least attempt to purport that for the last decade the Christmas number one has been not even vaguely Christmassy! Might I suggest that this year Cowl adds some sleigh bells or children’s choir to this years Christmas number one, doubtless to be Jedwood.

coldsnstuff...

In case you haven’t guessed by the changing of the leaves from green to gold, the shortening of the days and the fact that it happens every year at around this time; winter is upon us. Yes-siree the time has come to dig out your winter hat and gloves and prepare your self for the imminent attack from cold and flu viruses. No one is immune to the common cold (the average adult catches two to four colds a year.) It’s ok when you’re a child and you can rely on a day off school as well as being tended to by family who ply you with lemon and honey tea and Cowpol (yum.) But now we are ‘adults’ and have work obligations and essay deadlines to meet we do not have the luxury of being able to take a couple of days off and not just that; no one actually wants to be ill. I have done some intense scientific research and come to the conclusion that there are several different stages of illness predominant in the student-type-persons. Firstly there is the most common ‘snotty nose and cough’ stage, then the headache, the sweats, followed the highly undesirable 24 hour dihorreah and vom combo alternatively there is the hypochondriac stage (usually just a hangover.)
And so, as I’m such a gem, I decided to extend upon the Department of Health’s genius ‘Catch it, Bin it, Kill it’ campaign in order to help you lovely Bath Spa folk shun the sniffles. What follows is a thoroughly researched and some may say controversial Do’s and Don’ts guide to avoiding illness this winter (not actual medical advice!)

DO: Maintain good hygiene by regularly washing your hands with hot water and soap.

DON’T: spend your weekends hanging out at Bath’s drop in centre.
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DO: Wear appropriate clothing, wrap up warm; short skirts and knee high socks may look good but no one looks good with a hacking cough and runny nose.

DON’T: start up a new hobby of smoking in a bid to be more like style icon Dot Cotton.

DO: Get plenty of rest to help strengthen your immune system (that’s more than three hours a night)

DON’T: continually touch your eyes and mouth after travelling on public transport, handy tip; if taking the orange bus into uni make sure you wear gloves and maybe even some swimming goggles (one can never be to careful!)

DO: preserve a well balanced diet - this does not include microwave meals and domino’s pizza.

DON’T: embark on a mission to break a world record of how many naked people you can fit into an outdoor pool mid November.

I would also recommend checking out Holland and Barrett’s super BOGOF offer and if all else fails I’m afraid you’re beyond all reasonable help, I suggest bombarding your local GP with phone calls regarding the symptoms of swine flue! Happy cold season!

Venue Reviews BRIZZOL!

heeeem, so, this is another peice for the uni mag.. just some short reviews on Brizzol's best bars and clubs..so yeah.

If anyone said the night life in bath was brilliant they were lying, there are only so many times you can haunt a place before Moles becomes morose, Back to Mine becomes boring and Second Bridge becomes samey. So I suggest checking out the club and bar scene in Bristol, it’s only a £6 (and 15 minute) train ride and provides a wealth of different scenes. To begin with there are some great bars like Mr Wolfs which is a small, friendly and unique independent bar who claim to support diversity and showcase some of Bristol and beyond best acts, including Bath based Bath spa graduates Boy.Com who played there last Friday to a great crowd. Wolfs even serve delicious fresh noodles ‘till one in the morning from right behind the bar so you will never be hungry after all the dancing! Then there is Start the Bus in the heart of the centre of town another live music and DJ bar that caters for the painfully cool (and yet surprisingly friendly) kids of Bristol. Start the Bus have played host to such acts as The Filthy Dukes and Appleblim. With a great range of draft beers and cider as well as a great menu you can’t really go wrong with this quirky looking bar. In regards to clubs Bristol is home to some very popular super-clubs like Brizzol’s biggest club Syndicate (great for serious night-clubbers) and Motion skate park/club (great for the dubstep fans out there) but for those who like a smaller venue but with the same great atmosphere Theckla is a great place to start. Thekla is in fact a club on a boat which is moored in Bristol’s mud dock, so if you ever fancied raving it up pirate stylee then this is the place for you. Thekla is also a forerunner in promoting new and old artists over the summer hosting LaRoux, Esser and kissy Sell Out and many more. With two floors and a great smoking area that makes you feel like you’re on a cruse Thekla is a great night out however I would warn that if you want to see an artist in particular it is essential that you book tickets in advance (unless you want to be in a queue for an hour or so!) Thekla also has some regular club nights catering for all tastes including Hospitality; a massive drum and bass and hip hop night (first Friday of the month), Blowpop a indie night and Socialism for all you alternative dance fans (fourth Friday). So if you’re ever tempted to venture outside of the underground confines of Bath’s club scene I would strongly recommend it, a 5 seeter taxi costs around £30 which isn’t too bad split 5 ways or alternatively for all you hard core party people the first train back to bath goes at 5.30am and from personal experiences the benches outside Temple Meads just don’t compare to a nice warm bed!

October Album Reviews <3

Holla people, have been doing some writing for the uni Mag H20 and this is what i sent in (who knows if it will be used though!) have just been spending the day listening some new albums that have been relesed this month and have enjoyed myself very much, especially The XX (pic on the left) who i would strongly you check out!

Enjoy!

ARTIST: DIONNE BROMFIELD
ALBUM: INTRODUCING DIONNE BROMFIELD (Lioness records)
Kent’s Baby faced new soul singer and Amy Winehouse god-daughter and protégé Dionne Bromfield’s debut album has been eagerly awaited by the hard core bee-hive sporting Wino fans amongst us. Introducing Dionne Bromfield is a 12 track cover album and Dionne’s voice is undeniably good, however it is seems a lazy choice of material. The album includes My Boy Lollipop and mowtown super-anthem Aint no Mountain High Enough and Bromfield just doesn’t compare to the originals (who can compare to Marvin and Stevie!?) That Said Introducing Dionne Bromfield is a fun upbeat album which rightfully reclaims some classic mowtown and soul tunes into the mainstream. Mama Said, the first track release is a infections and will get you tapping your foot along, without a doubt there are big things on the horizon for this girl once she gets some new material to really show off her voice.
ARTIST: SHAKIRA
ALBUM: SHE WOLF (Sony records)
Did you know that Columbian born Shakira is the fourth richest (and surely bendiest) woman in music? Well she is and how can you not fall in love with the first track and album namesake She wolf especially with lyrics such as ‘I’m starting to feel just a little abused, like a coffee machine in an office.’ She Wolf opens with Shakira proclaiming that she is a ‘she wolf’ (albeit a bendy, hairless, leotard sporting she wolf) a funky disco bass riff like something off a CSS album, Shakira’s more modern electro tunes are a result of collaborating with producers Pharrell Williams (NERD)and John Hill who has worked with the likes of Santogold. What sets Shakira apart from the rest of the chart-pop-tarts out there is that she is odd! The album is worth a listen to even if its just to laugh at the lyrics!
ARTIST: THE XX
ALBUM: XX (The Young Turks records)
South London quartet The XX with duo male and female vocalists Romy Madley croft and Oliver smith their music has a dark emotive sound not dissimilar to the brilliant Whitest Boy Alive, fusing indie, post punk, electronic and dance with beautiful dulcet vocals. Track four on the album ‘islands’ is an achingly beautiful love song with simple yet stunning vocals proclaiming “I am yours now/ so I never have to leave/ I’ve been found out/ now I’ll never explore” Islands epitomises the brilliance of the foursome and how easy to like they are. The XX should rightfully be proud of themselves being self produced by their own synth-and-bass player Jamie Smith. The band are all graduates from London’s Elliott school who produced the likes of Mercury award winning dubstep wunderkind Burial and electro pop kings Hot Chip. With such shoes to fill one would think they would be daunted but this album is atmospheric and haunting and definitely recommended.




ARTIST: DJ TIESTO
ALBUM: KALEIDOSCOPE
I must admit I don’t know a great deal about house music but that doesn’t mean I am not happy to give it a listen, especially when I heard some of the people who have helped out Dutch House maestro DJ Tiesto. With the likes of ‘I’m like a bird’ singer Nelly Furtardo, Block Party’s Kele Okereke and even Iceland’s second most famous warbler (after Bjork, of course) Jónsi of Sigur Rós fame. With such a eclectic group of artist you would expect a slightly more varied album but it seems Tiesto has rolled all his musical mates up and cut them with a house-music cookie cutter and the tracks hardly any variation. Kaleidoscope isn’t a bad album however I imagine the next time I will listen to it will be when I hear it blaring out the speakers of a Honda civic ;)

best of all festivals?

yo homedawgs.. 

Thanks for the lovely feedback regarding the Skream gig review, and thanks to my dad for pointing out that i made several spelling mistakes :s im off to Bestival this weekend for a space themed spectacularrr (and cant ruddy wait) will write up some stuff here next week about the festival (depending on wether i can remember ay of it!) 

Peace out lovelys 

x